Skulduggery Pleasant One-Shots
by BeautyandBones
Summary: So basically these are just some Skulduggery one-shots, these are my first ever stories! i hope you like them, please review :)
1. Promises

**Hello, this is my first story I guess. I am just posting short stories for a while until I figure out the rest of a story I had in mind. Well enjoy **

Promises.

"Pinkie promise?" Valkyrie whispered to Skulduggery. She lowered her head trying to stop herself from crying, but it was no use. Tears slid down her cheeks. She hated crying in front of Skulduggery, she didn't want him to think she was weak. But in this current situation she just didn't care anymore. She ached all over; blood and ash covered her body, more tears rolled down her cheeks, watching them slowly fall to the ground.

She remembered the screams and cries of innocent people, but now there was silence. Their blood covered her body; she remembered how enjoyable it was to cut their heads off or pull off their legs and seeing their blood splash everywhere coating the walls, and the way it dripped from their bodies, making pools of blood. No. That was not me. That was Darquesse

I didn't kill those people, Darquesse did.

"_Stop lying to yourself and face the facts, I am you…"_ Darquesse's voice echoed in her head, making her head spin. I dug my nails in my hand waiting for it to pass, but the more harder I squeezed I began to feel the sticky substance beginning to appear. _Blood. _I deserve it, all those things I did. I deserve it!

Suddenly familiar gloved hands wrapped around her own squeezing them lightly, but not enough to hurt. I raised my head to look at him. Skulduggery. His face had a permanent grin on his skull, but by looking at him more closely you could see the concern on his face. "Valkyrie… I…" he seemed to be lost for words which actually surprised me. He was never lost for words, not ever! But it seemed today that he indeed had no idea what to say. I could hear a sigh escape his mouth, and finally he spoke "I promise."


	2. Don't let go

**I got this idea from listening to **

"**Never let me go" by Florence + Machine amazing song by the way, I don't want to keep you waiting, so GO, READ!**

**(I'm really bad at this XD)**

**By the way Valkyries around 17!**

Don't Let Go

Here we are, in the Bentley, driving after Billy Ray Sanguine. Skulduggery and I were planning a vacation but then we got reports of somebody sneaking in and killing mages, turns out it was Sanguine, no surprise there.

"Hey Skulduggery?" he turned his head to look at her while still driving without any problems. "Yes Valkyrie"

"how many times have we had to chase after Sanguine?" he hesitated for a moment and turn his head back to the road before answering "well I would have to say I have lost count" he chuckled silently and a grin managed to creep up on to her face, "do you think we will catch him?" "Don't we always my dear Valkyrie?"

"Actually we don't" this made Skulduggery turn to look at her again "I'm sorry, what?" "Don't you remember last time we chased after him? We had a fight he kicked you in the face!" a low growl escaped his teeth, "oh yeah I remember, it bloody hurt to" this caused Valkyrie to roll her eyes, "yeah well he gave me a beating too, remember that!" "Yes but my face is more important than you by far!" Valkyrie punched him in the arm and laughed, same with Skulduggery. Suddenly the car came to a halt making Valkyrie hit her head on the dash bored, "bloody hell!" she rubbed her head hoping a bruise wouldn't appear. "Come on!"

Said Skulduggery as he rushed out of the car; I did the same, running after him. I only realized now that it was raining. Strange.

But I ignored it and kept running, I took in my surroundings, I passed a black van, which Sanguine had been driving in, it seemed that we were in some sort of forest,

a big one too. I finally caught up with Skulduggery and saw Sanguine up ahead; we were right on his tail. Suddenly the trees started disappearing as we come to a cliff. Sanguine stared at the edge, and a grin was plastered on his face. "Your under arrest Sanguine, for sneaking in the Sanctuary, killing mages, and kicking me in the head" he laughed "oh yeah I almost didn't recognise you with that dent in your skull"

that's when Skulduggery leapt for Sanguine, but unfortunately he missed.

I ran to him punching him in the jaw, and then he held up a fist. Light circled it, it was so bright I thought it might blind me, and then he punched me. With so much force I rocketed backwards hitting into something. Then realised it was a tree. I groaned trying to stand. I was shaky but I manage. Sanguine was laughing his head off, "wow! I really love this power" then Skulduggery budded in, "how are you able to do that" Skulduggery asked, "well, you see, it has something to do with me killing those mages"

"Oh?" "I paid a man to give ultimate power, but he said I needed to collect power from other mages, which led to killing them, so once I had drained there magic then man gave me their power, and so I can become more and more powerful, the more power I steal."

Skulduggery was silent for a while, and then he spoke "well that's actually quite clever Sanguine, I never thought you could come up with something like that!" Sanguine growled and pointed at Skulduggery, the same light circled his hand and then the light moved and circled around Skulduggery, he let out a cry and fell on his knees doubling over.

He was in pain; what ever Sanguine was doing it seemed to be torturing Skulduggery. So she ran to Sanguine and slammed her shoulder into him, they both feel on the impact but Sanguine was up first and kicked her in the face. Valkyrie jumped up before Sanguine could get another kick at her. Skulduggery was not screaming anymore, he was exhausted, so this had to be Valkyries fight.

She ran at him and punched him in the jaw, he growled and light started to circle his hand but before he could use it she sent out shadows that wrapped around his ankle and yanked him to the ground he got up just in time to see the balls of fire hurtling straight at him. He staggered at the impact of the fire and cursed, "you little bitch!" and then, he sunk into the ground. She spined looking around for any sight of him. He wouldn't give that easily, but where was he? And that when I felt it. The sharp pain in my lower back, a knife, pain consumed me.

I fell to my knees as I felt the knife being removed. A pair of feet started to make its way around her, then she felt two strong hands grab the collar of her shirt and slowly she was lifted of the ground and looking into Sanguine's eyes she sneaked a peak and looked below her at the dark waters of the ocean, they were right on the edge of the cliff. "Well, not so strong now,

are we?" I looked over to where Skulduggery was, he was desperately trying to get up to save her, but she knew he wouldn't get here in time. She looked back to Sanguine "say bye, bye girly," he gave one final grin then he let go, dropping her, she felt the rush of wind and heard Skulduggery's distant voice screaming her name.

She started to go numb all over, and then she closed her eyes. Then the blow came, water covered her and pulled her down under the water where was no air, only the cold emptiness of the sea. She was slowly starting to drift to the bottom, she could feel nothing now, and all she could here was a loud ringing in her ears. She wasn't giving up, she was just giving in, and she felt darkness slowly start to cloud her vision and then nothing. There was nothing.

And then she felt the presence of someone else, she opened her eyes slightly, to see Skulduggery, his arm circled her waist, he was saving her yet again. She closed her eyes again and then she truly had given up.

…

Valkyrie was limp in his arms, and fear bubbled up inside him. He couldn't let her die, she was his world, and without her he would be nothing.

He urged himself to swim faster, and then there was air. He lifted Valkyrie higher so her head was out of the water.

Then to his horror he noticed that she was not breathing. He quickly checked her pulse; there was a small one, which Skulduggery was grateful for. He used all of his strength to fly out of the water, to the top of the cliff.

Once he landed he laid her down on the soft ground. He kneeled beside her and quickly started CPR; because he was a skeleton it made it hard to give her air. He placed two hands on her chest and pressed down then up, he continued this for a while, then realised that it wasn't working. He cursed himself for being a skeleton.

He removed his hands and looked at her beauty, even when she was slowly dying she still looked beautiful.

He thought of taking her to the Sanctuary but knew she wouldn't make it in time to receive treatment. He then realised the choking sobs that escaped his mouth, he was crying? It was strange, he had no tears but he still made the sounds of a crying man.

He controlled himself and ever so gently, kissed her.

Then lifted his head and looked at her again, then started to stand. And then he heard a gasp. He swirled around and looked at her wide eyes, and then she turned on to her belly and vomited up water that had filled her lunges. She was alive.

…

She vomited up seawater and coughed, then turned to lie on her back, and winced at the pain n her back.

She had forgotten about the hole in her back. She was taken bye surprise when Skulduggery sat her in his lap and pulled her into a hug. "I thought I lost you," he gently whispered into my ear,

I moved my hand and circled them around his waist, "I would never leave you!" she whispered back. He tightened his grip on me, and I snuggled into his shoulder, they were like that for a while then she broke the silence. "Don't let go," he rested his chin on her head then he spoke, "I won't."


	3. That time of the month

**Ever wondered why Valkyries time of the month was never a problem in the books? Well I wrote this so you could get a glimpse of what would happen. No this is not accurately what girls act like, but sometimes we do! (If you are a boy, and your not comfortable reading something like this, don't. But it doesn't really talk about that particular thing so it shouldn't bother you!)**

That Time of the Month

Skulduggery was sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. It was Valkyries his day off, so he used his time off to get peace and quiet, which results in having somebody ruin it. But he felt like today was the day that he finally would get some peace and quiet.

"BLOODY HELL!"

Skulduggery sighed, "bummer." He placed his newspaper beside him and got up making his way to Valkyries room. It was always Valkyrie who seemed to ruin people's plans. Especially his. But everything normally turned out right, plus he had a soft spot for Valkyrie, not that he'd ever admit that. He reached her door about to knock when an angry and annoyed Valkyrie ran straight into him.

"Hey! Watch where your going!" he chuckled "I think it was _you_ who ran into _me_" she rolled her eyes, which amused him even more "oh piss off with you and your logic!" "Language" "I don't give a damn about my language!" he sighed, "Okay, what wrong?" "Nothing… Nothings wrong" "you hesitated" she frowned, and all her anger disappeared "I'm sorry?" "You hesitated while answering me, so there is obviously something wrong." Now it was her turn to sigh, "Look, it doesn't concern you" if he had a face he would be frowning "why?" she started to look uncomfortable "Because! Its… Girls stuff" "ah, understood."

"Anyway, could you please step aside" she said, quite desperately. "Of course" he moved out of the way and Valkyries burst past him and ran straight towards the bathroom, after slamming the door shut, he made his way down stairs, "I will never understand that girl." Once seated on the couch he started to think, what exactly did she mean by _Girl stuff?_ Did she mean puberty or boyfriend trouble? He shuddered at the thought of Fletcher doing anything to hurt her. It was then that Valkyrie came down stairs, and she looked so tired. "Valkyrie, are you okay?" he asked, concerned. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine," she answered simply, as she made her way to the kitchen. He got up and followed her, as he entered the kitchen she was pulling out a pizza box and jumping up onto the counter top. She opened the box and picked up a slice of pizza. "Um Valkyrie, you do know that, that pizza is a week old" she stared at the pizza with absolute wonder "really!" now Skulduggery was truly concerned, "yes, really" she was still staring at the slice of pizza, then he spoke up "would you like me to order you some fresh pizza?" it was then dropped the pizza and looked at him, "yes please." He grabbed the pizza box and put it in the bin to rot. And then he got out his phone and dialled.

Once the pizza had arrived he checked the pizza to make sure they got the order right, last time they got it wrong Valkyrie stormed back to the pizza place and put the pizza right into one of the employees face. He had to admit it was amusing but he always checked in case she decided to smash the pizza in his face. Once he had entered the kitchen Valkyrie smiled and grabbed the pizza box and opening it to reveal the delicious and steaming hot pizza. She then started eating with a look of joy on her face, and then there was the sound of a door opening. Skulduggery left Valkyrie to inspect who had entered his home. Once entering the hall he saw a tall and muscular woman with thick curly blond hair and wearing leather. Tanith. "Hey Skull, what's up?" he was almost relieved to see her, now someone could finally explain why Valkyrie was acting so strangely and explain what Valkyrie had meant when she said _Girls stuff_? He grabbed her arm and dragged her into the lounge room, Tanith looking confused. "Tanith I need your help with something" "um okay, what is it?" he then explained what was going on with Valkyrie and told her she said _Girls stuff. _Tanith seemed calm but something was on her mind, she knew what was wrong. "Skulduggery, its fine she's just going through something every girl has to go through" "can you be more precise?" Tanith looked down at her feet and bit her bottom lip. "Well, every month a women has to go through something, it happens in their body and, um, you get mood swings and well it happens at a certain age then stops at a certain age and I'm passed that so I don't have to deal with it but, Val does…" she looked up and she looked utterly embarrassed. And then, something clicked. "Are you trying to say its Valkyries time of the month?" "Yes, I'm surprised you know about that!" "Oh please, I'm not that old." She smiled and looked back at the door, "I should go, I shouldn't get involved in this, I remember last time she had it she threatened to throw me off a building. She turned opened the door, gave a little wave then she was gone. Skulduggery sighed and walked back to the kitchen, and was attacked by an excited Valkyrie. "Hey Skull!" her arms were wrapped tight around his torso and I didn't look like she was letting go anytime soon. "Hello Valkyrie, now may I ask my dear, why you are crushing me?" she then broke into a fit of giggles, "because I missed you!" he chuckled and then started to move to the lounge, with Valkyrie standing in his feet as he walked, she really was something. He sat down and Valkyrie collapsed on the couch with her head on his lap. "What's one thing you miss about being human?" she asked. Skulduggery thought about this, what _did_ he miss? "Well I miss my handsome face but I already look handsome just with my face as a skull" he said chuckling. Valkyrie swatted his arm and glared at him. He laughed even harder; when he calmed down he answered her. "Well, I suppose I miss my hair." She smiled, clearly satisfied with his answer. "What did your hair look like?" she asked. "Black, midnight black, it was thick and shiny, and it was just above my shoulders." She smiled at him again "yeah, I can picture that" she yawned and her eyes closed. She turned on her side, facing him. He gently stroked her head for a while then moved from under her and put a cushion under her head and laid a blanket over her body. He stared at her for a while then gave her a skeletal kiss on her forehead, then sat in one of the chairs next to the couch and started meditating. And through that whole night all he could think about was Valkyrie.


	4. Cheesy

It was a quiet evening in Dublin Ireland.

Winter had started and snow was everywhere, most people stayed home drinking hot cocoa.

But not for the great Valkyrie Cain, no she had to be underground fighting this stupid man named Devor Sentenial who planned on killing everyone on the planet (except himself of course) and creating his own humans to lead and rule over.

Yeah it was quite confusing but he was still dangerous.

At the moment her fateful and quite annoying partner Skulduggery and I were fighting off a couple of his vampire minions.

"Well, isn't this fun?" said Skulduggery, I quickly dodged a vampire and looked him.

"Oh yeah, fantastic" the same vampire pounced but I avoided it again.

"Was that a sarcastic remark?" he asked, while punching a vampire in the face, "why I would never!" and again, the same vampire pounced at me, I threw a fire ball at his face, and kicked his legs making it fall to the ground.

"Charming, that is" Skulduggery ducked under a vampire and gave it a roundhouse kick.

Another vampire approached, swiping at her head. She ducked but was two slow and its claws cut the side of her face, drawing blood.

She stumbled slightly but quickly regained her balance, but the minute she let her guard down the vampire pounced on her, knocking her down to the ground.

It opened its mouth wide, about to bite my face off. Then I kicked it where the sun don't shine.

It stayed frozen in pain, and whimpered slightly. That's when Skulduggery came in and kicked it to the other side of the cave, "are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine" I said, the vampires started to surround us. We fought them back-to-back. But the horde was too large, they came closer and closer, and just when I thought I was dead meat.

A mans voice echoed through the underground cave, Devor Sentenial's voice.

"Well I guess it's about time I joined the party," he said strolling towards us casually.

Skulduggery ran at him aiming for a punch in the gut, but Devor stepped aside, causing Skulduggery to skid to a stop.

His hands suddenly lit up with purple energy, which was his discipline.

It was supposedly dangerous.

I sprinted at him ducking a punch and hitting him under the jaw, I went to kick him in the stomach but he grabbed my leg.

He started swinging me around and then flung me at full speed into the cave wall.

I couldn't move, I felt dizzy and disorientated; I could see spots clouding my vision.

I got up on my hands and knees and looked up.

Skulduggery and Devor were in a full on fight, Devor was shooting purple energy at Skulduggery, but he managed to side step it.

At this moment Devor had kicked Skulduggery legs out from under him, he made a move to get up but Devor shot purple energy at his legs and Skulduggery cringed in pain.

Devor laughed, "its time to end you, skeleton." He said, ready to shot his purple energy at him.

And then I ran, ignoring the pain, and jumped in front of Skulduggery just in time, and I felt the energy hit me.

I staggered back, looking at Devor's shocked face; I could faintly hear Skulduggery say my name.

And then I fell, awaiting the darkness that consumed me.

I watched as Valkyrie fell to the ground in front of me, her body seeming life less.

I rushed to her, picking her up in my arms.

"Valkyrie! Nononono, Val wake up!" I screamed holding her.

I could hear Devor laugh, and I looked up at him glaring.

"Wasn't that fun!" Devor said grinning, I narrowed my eyes at him, and I felt Lord Vile rising.

"How dare you," I said anger in my voice, I felt shadows surround me, pouring out of my bones.

Devor looked at him confused and slightly frightened.

The shadows were forming into a large mass, and then I gave them my orders, the shadows rushed towards Devor and circled around him, I could hear his screams of terror.

And then he was gone, the shadows left and Devor was gone.

He didn't know what exactly happened but he didn't care enough to find out.

He looked down at Valkyrie, her features relaxed.

He then held her close wrapping his arms around her fragile body, he whispered to her to _'wake up'_.

Then he heard a small voice.

"Skull? Why are you hugging me?"

When I came to I was in Skulduggery's arms, he was holding onto me tight.

"Skull? Why are you hugging me?" I said.

He suddenly outstretched his arms and looked at me.

"Val! Your okay!" he said, "of course I'm okay num-nut."

He started hugging me again and I melted into his arms, he let go of me and I started to laugh, "did you seriously think I would die?"

"How was I supposed to know you'd survive? We were told NOT to get hit by it!" Skulduggery said arguing.

"I always liked dangerous things," I said with a smile.

Skulduggery sighed and tilted his head, "I'm just glad your okay."

He suddenly stood up, lending a hand down to me.

"Can you walk?" I smirked.

"Of course I can" I said, ignoring his gesture.

I stood feeling fine, then I collapsed into Skulduggery's arms, "liar" he said.

He slid his arm under me, taking most of my weight as I leaned on him.

"Why not carry me bridal style?"

"Because you don't deserve it,"

"Why?"

"Because you laughed at me, and hurt my feeling" I rolled my eyes, "awe, did I break your ego?"

"Never, my ego is too powerful"

I laughed, muttering _'moron'_, we were silent for a while when Skulduggery spoke.

"So I'm guessing you want pizza?"

"You read my mind."

**Oh my god this is so fucking cheesy! **

**But in my defence I haven't had much sleep recently **

**Please don't kill me.**


End file.
